Bloody Tears

I woke not breathing

I am getting a cold and or my body is arguing with me about whether or not I should continue to smoke after almost a year.

My throat is muscular sore, only apparent when I swallow, which is detracting from my enjoyment of the morning cup of instant coffee.

I am still in bed.

I am in bed again

I have returned to bed several times since 11.30pm last night

I dreamt of massive, rambling piles of houses by the sea, obscured by thick barriers of eucalypts.

An old woman lived in the furthest house. Painted dark blue, what I could see of the house indicated that it had been built upon by generations, as if each owner was obliged to add another room as part of their legacy. The woman was telling me a story about her vicious family and indicated that she lived in the house alone.

We were speaking by another house, painted white, weatherboard. We paid it mild attention but I was unable to make out any detail beyond it needing another coat of paint and that it too was rather large.

Later I drove to another house in a duney unattractive location. This was apparently where I or my family in the dream lived.

I lifted my head from a pillow and noticed watery blood.

Someone, a younger female, indicated I should look in the mirror. She was not alarmed, but didn’t hang around.

I saw myself, face smeared with fresh and rusted with dried blood.

My eyelids were sticky with pus, which oozed in gloopy strings from my eyelashes.

I knew this would happen

I was crying bloody tears, but I wasn’t sad.

I was inconvenienced

I looked at the pillow once more, which was lying in mid air next to me in the yard

I needed to drive somewhere but my face wasn’t clean

I woke not breathing

In my bathroom in my actual house, which is small

Running the tap to drink and sooth my sore throat

 

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